Thoughts On My Immortal
by Ravenklaw-Girl
Summary: Just my thoughts upon reading the FanFic which has dubbed as the worst FanFic ever and has the worst abuse of the English language I have ever seen; My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie.
1. Chapters 1 to 7

Just my first thoughts upon reading the Fan Fic dubbed worst Fan Fic ever; My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie.

**Bold** = My thoughts.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

**'Cause that's so gonna be easy for everyone to remember.....**

and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)

**Of course, her parent's can see the future....duh.**

with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears

**Interesting describing word; 'limpid tears'. I wonder if Tara even knows what limpid means. Judging from the author's note I'd say not.**

and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.

**At least she's not going with the typical vampire look-alike.**

I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England

**You know, England's a pretty large place. Care to expand?  
**

where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black.

**Really?! I didn't know goths wore black! Fascinating!**

I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!  
**Oh dear lord.**  
"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.  
**Because we all know Draco's shy.**  
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!  
**She had help with this story and it's still as bad as it is?!**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)

**Never a good idea to base a character after a friend.**

woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.**  
Wow. A muggle band having a concert in a wizard-only place. How much more screwed up can this get? Well, judging by chapter 1 and this chapter so far, I'd say a lot more.**  
"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.  
**I would hope not.**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

**Because whenever I'm going to a concert of a band I like with a guy I like I feel depressed enough to slit my wrists too. **

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway.

**Probably hasn't stopped you before.**

I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.  
**Refer to my second note on this chapter.**  
"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)

**Cliche alert!**

and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte

and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

**I suppose that's to make you look 'cool'. **

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car.

**Might have been a good idea to land first.**

We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.  
**What, Draco won't let his girlfriend have a celelbrity crush?**  
"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.  
**Because we all know how sensitive Draco can be when it comes whether or not his girlfirends like him.**  
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz,

**Crawled? Did Draco park it between two giant slabs of stone so it looked like a sandwich?**

but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!  
**Fuck.**

**  
**Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!

**You've kinda missed the point there Tara. **

DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!  
**Sure.**

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.  
**Once again, it might have been a good idea to land it first.**  
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.  
**Because depressing sorrow and evilness is so calming.**  
And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"  
**Motherfukers?**  
It was……………………………

**3 or 4 full stops are fine when building up to something. Or, like Tara, you could use about 50. Either way, we get the point.**

……………………….Dumbledore!

**Dumbledore swears now?! Oh well, I guess Ishould have expected it. What was he doing in the Forbidden Forest anyway?  
**

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.  
**He's shouting. We get the point. **  
I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.  
**So Professor McGonagall and Snape are pyshics now?**  
"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."  
**Because Snape always relents that easily.**  
Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.  
**What, no detention?**  
"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.**  
I'm not even going to say anything......**

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula

**Specially imported for goths**

cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.  
**So? You're a vampire. Lick it up or something.**  
"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it.

**Another goth boy?!**

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face

**Jeez, you just met him.**

and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore

**NO! She did not!**

and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

**Fuck. This is screwed up.**

He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.

**What, did you think he might have a French accent?!**

He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.  
**We're not the sickos here. We're just reading this Fan Fic. You're the one thought about it first.**  
"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.  
**Oh hell no!**  
"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.  
**So you're not a vampire, you just like the taste of human blood?**  
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.  
**He whimpered? I roared? This Fan Fic would be an English teachers worst nightmare.**  
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

**And left Harry 'Vampire' Potter hanging.**

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire.

**But Vampire was back in the Great Hall.**

Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.

***Sheakes head***

He felt me up before I took of my top.

**I thought they had already taken off each other's clothes.**

Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)  
**Yes. Where was she during Sex. Ed?**  
"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

I was so angry.  
**So we automatically jump to the conclusion that the tattoo is about the character Vampire and Draco just doesn't have a thing for blood sucking freaks. Which doesn't make sense at all as Ebony (or Enoby) has told us she's a vampire herself. So, in fact, she should be kinda flattered that he has a tattoo that could be reffering to her.**  
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.  
**When did they ever get IN the bed?**  
"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what

**Again, where was she when class was taking place?**

but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.  
**Because everyone else are obviously preps and there for, don't need mentioning.**  
"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.


	2. Chapters 8 to 14

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.  
**I always thought when I read/saw (Tom Felton made up as) Draco that he seemed to be the type to streak.**  
"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith

**What does the apostrophe stand for?**

smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on.

**Does everyone wear contacts in this?!**

She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.

**Wait. WHAT?! **

Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it.

**So her mother was a vampire and a witch?**

She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.

**As most of the characters in this story seem to be.**  
It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger.

***Sighs and shakes head***

(Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )  
**You can change houses?!**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.  
**Because everyone cares so much about Ebony's love life.**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.

**Is this Draco's POV?!**

I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony)

**No surprise there.**

for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney,

**Spears? Nah, can't be. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if it was.**

a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.

**And apparently we're back to Ebony's POV.**

I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.  
**Virility?!**  
Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers!

**Did Dumbeldore swear in the movie? If so, I must have missed it.**

besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist!

**Wait a minute. Hold your gosh-darn flying horses. 'Snap' is a Christian?**

MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad.

**And feeling really bad.**

I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick!

**Please tell me this isn't going to be Voldemort.**

He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was…… Voldemort!  
**Crap.**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream.

**Gotta watch out for those scary-ass cats.**

I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

**You had Voldemort in a position where he is powerless and you felt so bad for him that you stopped...?!**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"  
**Crap with a capital C. Pretty please with a cherry on top tell me he's not gonna speak in Ye Olde English.**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?  
**No shit Sherlock.**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.  
**A gun?**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly.

**And at this point I had to take a break from laughing so hard. Anyway, onwards!**

"And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.  
**I wanna learn how to fly angrily!**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad.

**I wonder why.**

He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!

**No. It's too fun to read.**

ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.

**I'm guessing the people saying that are deaf.**

The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.)

**Of course.**

and Hargrid.

**So 'Hargrid' is a student now?**

Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak)

**They better avoid the meat section of the grocery store and the butchers.**

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.

**I'm not even going to say anything.**

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.  
**Correction: We KNOW you're a slut.**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.  
**I thought he was too busy slitting his wrists to come to practice.**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."  
**Maybe someone shoved a piece of steak to his heart as well.  
**

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.  
**And we all know that Dumbledore cares more about how he looks than one of his students.**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.

**Boo-hoo.**

They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!

**Wait.......What was Loopin chewing?**

They were sitting on their broomsticks.

**Ouch.**

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.

**Had to take another break from laughing so hard. My family's giving me funny looks.  
**

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times

**Don't you love those guns with infinite shots?**

and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"  
**Because that changes everything.**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."  
**I'm really confused.**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.  
**Yeah Tara. Why are you torturing us with this idiotic yet highly comedic Fan Fic?**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.  
**Bite him. Bite him. Bite him.**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"  
***sigh***  
Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.  
**Nice.**

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!"  
***The water LuluRox is drinking goes flying***

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.  
**Prep.  
**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."  
**I believe we were told that they are.**

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)

**Yes.**

to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.  
**Of course. She just had to slip My Chemical romance in there somewhere.**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

**  
**And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.  
**We get the point. It's black.**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT)

***sighs and shakes head AGAIN***

u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled.

**I thought 'Dumblydore' was talking to Enobby.**

dUMBLydore lookd shockd.

**I would too.**

I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.  
**He had just taken a Tylenol.**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them.

**Her high-heeled boots have Billie Joe Armstorng on them?!**

I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!)

**No thanks.**

and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)

**Worst pun. EVER.**

you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

Racist much? Or should I say 'Housist'?

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.  
**I don't know why but I love that line.**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.  
**Blame it on Vampire then.**

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.  
**Again, nice one.**

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I  
**Why do I get the feeling this topic may pop up later? **

**Just as a general tip, don't use Fan Fics to talk to friends. It's called a cell phone or a phone. Try it some time.**

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom!

**Refer to the second part of my first comment on this chapter.**

PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.  
**What bad wording. Either Dumbledore was VERY excited at hearing his students call him 'Dumblydore' or he just suddenly popped out of no where. I have the feeling it's the second option.**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.  
**Definetly the second one.**

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)  
**I don't have a problem with gay guys (my best friend's one and I'm proud of him for coming out) but not all of them.  
**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.  
**Really?!**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!  
**That was easy.**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"  
It was……………………………….. Voldemort!

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

**And on the 8****th**** day God looked down upon My Immortal and saw that it was some fucking funny shit. **

**-LuluRox**** 1:1.**

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

**I'm not gonna even say anything.**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there.

**Don't you just love when authors contridict themselves?**

Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

**Ummm.............**

"Huh?" I asked.  
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you?

**Apparently.**

God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.  
**Why? **

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us.

***Nearly falls off chair laughing***

So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.

**Geez, this guy really has a one track mind.**

He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

**I'm not going to say anything.**


End file.
